00:00 - opening a little blunt; i would have been tempted to fade in. Music works well, however. lighting a little odd; looks like contrast is slightly off, or opacity of clip might be down, unless this is a deliberate effect? pan is reasonable - I like reveal of Keiran - but you might want to practice a little to get this more smooth if you use the same technique in the future. 00:07 - audio seems to glitch slightly with edit to MCU of Kieran. Again, contrast/ brightness is a little odd. Framing/ mise-en-scene is good, although panning here is a little less effective; I would have held shot as static - pan does not really add anything. could have done reverse-angle of nature reserve, if you wanted to show what he was looking at 00:16 - a little odd to cut from him being static to moving; it might have been more effective to cut back to him and show start of move; would have flowed a little more 00:25 - shot of Kieran walking down path and reverse of him approaching camera are both well-framed; again, main issue here is contrast 00:41 - you probably won't be able to hold shots for as long in final piece, although framing is effective. I like ELS with Kieran walking from L to R across shot; you've framed this well and continuity works with previous shots 00:47 - high-angle shot works well here; the following shot (behind Kieran) is perhaps not so effective, although again it's good that you're trying a range of shots/ angles. The continuity is good. 01:05 - arrival at structure a little sudden, considering there was no sign of it in previous sequence. could do with some sort of narrative bridge here. As you've identified, lighting is an issue, and this is something to consider for your next piece 01:15 - shouldn't really use a cross-dissolve here (this implies passage of time within the same location rather than a movement between locations). Either a straight cut or a fade through black would be more conventional 01:28 - some slightly glitchy audio here, although framing is good. You've tried for some imaginative shots here, particularly the 360, although a second pass on the audio would improve. You could have done with continuing the 360 so that Sam was looking from R to L, since you break the 180 degree rule when you cut to the ECU. You also break the rule when you cut from Sam to Kieran at 01:39 (they are both looking from right to left, so it doesn't seem as if they are looking at each other). The framing is effective 01:40 - editing/ positioning here more successful. Generally, once you have chosen position of the characters, you would make sure that you shot them from same side. In this case, because we establish at start that Kieran effectively enters from left of the scene and Sam is sat at right, we would expect to see Kieran always shot looking right and Sam looking left. I like use of angle here, and the mis-en-scene 01:44 - good framing here 01:46 - good attempt at a move here, although the focus is a little knarly. This would, however, be a good way of repositioning the audience to then shoot the characters from the opposite angle (Spielberg does a similar thing in War of the Worlds (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUv7iRaWOOQ)
01:54 - successful use of editing/ framing here, although again audio could do with a little tidying up 01:55 - again, you break the 180 degree rule (it looks like Sam and Kieran are both facing the same way). Framing here is good, though - pleased to see you're using a range of angles 02:02 - unusual to cut from an MLS to a similar MLS;there is a continuity issue here (Kieran has his hands on the table and is leaning forward; in the next shot, he is standing up and not touching the table) 02:06 - love this shot - wonderful lighting and framing. Be wary of the noise from the camera 02:10 - slight continuity glitch in terms of how Sam is lit/ standing 02:13 - again, slight continuity issue with Sam's positioning. The edit is slightly off in terms of the audio. The zoom is reasonable 02:15 - I would have tried to catch Kieran's move (he was facing in a different direction in the previous shot, so it looks slightly odd) 02:26 - effect works well here; I would have made even more of it 02:30 - ending is good Overall, this is an efficient piece of work, certainly the best you've done. There are a range of shots used, from ELS to ECU, and you've attempted to go for different angles and some variety of movement, with a degree of success. Most of the editing is efficient and there is very good consideration of mise-en-scene. There is a fair attempt to create atmosphere and this works well. As you've identified, the main issue is to do with the lighting, and this is something to consider carefully when you shoot your next piece. I would also ask that you consider the soundtrack - there are ways of making the audio smoother, which is effectively the final thing to do before exporting. A key thing to look at is continuity - you should understand where you have broken the rules, particularly re. camera positioning; this is the focus of the next project. I'm pleased with the work you've done here - you've put a lot of effort in and have clearly made a lot of progress. Well done.
00:00 - opening a little blunt; i would have been tempted to fade in. Music works well, however. lighting a little odd; looks like contrast is slightly off, or opacity of clip might be down, unless this is a deliberate effect? pan is reasonable - I like reveal of Keiran - but you might want to practice a little to get this more smooth if you use the same technique in the future.
ReplyDelete00:07 - audio seems to glitch slightly with edit to MCU of Kieran. Again, contrast/ brightness is a little odd. Framing/ mise-en-scene is good, although panning here is a little less effective; I would have held shot as static - pan does not really add anything. could have done reverse-angle of nature reserve, if you wanted to show what he was looking at
00:16 - a little odd to cut from him being static to moving; it might have been more effective to cut back to him and show start of move; would have flowed a little more
00:25 - shot of Kieran walking down path and reverse of him approaching camera are both well-framed; again, main issue here is contrast
00:41 - you probably won't be able to hold shots for as long in final piece, although framing is effective. I like ELS with Kieran walking from L to R across shot; you've framed this well and continuity works with previous shots
00:47 - high-angle shot works well here; the following shot (behind Kieran) is perhaps not so effective, although again it's good that you're trying a range of shots/ angles. The continuity is good.
01:05 - arrival at structure a little sudden, considering there was no sign of it in previous sequence. could do with some sort of narrative bridge here. As you've identified, lighting is an issue, and this is something to consider for your next piece
01:15 - shouldn't really use a cross-dissolve here (this implies passage of time within the same location rather than a movement between locations). Either a straight cut or a fade through black would be more conventional
01:28 - some slightly glitchy audio here, although framing is good. You've tried for some imaginative shots here, particularly the 360, although a second pass on the audio would improve. You could have done with continuing the 360 so that Sam was looking from R to L, since you break the 180 degree rule when you cut to the ECU. You also break the rule when you cut from Sam to Kieran at 01:39 (they are both looking from right to left, so it doesn't seem as if they are looking at each other). The framing is effective
01:40 - editing/ positioning here more successful. Generally, once you have chosen position of the characters, you would make sure that you shot them from same side. In this case, because we establish at start that Kieran effectively enters from left of the scene and Sam is sat at right, we would expect to see Kieran always shot looking right and Sam looking left. I like use of angle here, and the mis-en-scene
01:44 - good framing here
01:46 - good attempt at a move here, although the focus is a little knarly. This would, however, be a good way of repositioning the audience to then shoot the characters from the opposite angle (Spielberg does a similar thing in War of the Worlds (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUv7iRaWOOQ)
tbc
Continued...
ReplyDelete01:54 - successful use of editing/ framing here, although again audio could do with a little tidying up
01:55 - again, you break the 180 degree rule (it looks like Sam and Kieran are both facing the same way). Framing here is good, though - pleased to see you're using a range of angles
02:02 - unusual to cut from an MLS to a similar MLS;there is a continuity issue here (Kieran has his hands on the table and is leaning forward; in the next shot, he is standing up and not touching the table)
02:06 - love this shot - wonderful lighting and framing. Be wary of the noise from the camera
02:10 - slight continuity glitch in terms of how Sam is lit/ standing
02:13 - again, slight continuity issue with Sam's positioning. The edit is slightly off in terms of the audio. The zoom is reasonable
02:15 - I would have tried to catch Kieran's move (he was facing in a different direction in the previous shot, so it looks slightly odd)
02:26 - effect works well here; I would have made even more of it
02:30 - ending is good
Overall, this is an efficient piece of work, certainly the best you've done. There are a range of shots used, from ELS to ECU, and you've attempted to go for different angles and some variety of movement, with a degree of success. Most of the editing is efficient and there is very good consideration of mise-en-scene. There is a fair attempt to create atmosphere and this works well. As you've identified, the main issue is to do with the lighting, and this is something to consider carefully when you shoot your next piece. I would also ask that you consider the soundtrack - there are ways of making the audio smoother, which is effectively the final thing to do before exporting. A key thing to look at is continuity - you should understand where you have broken the rules, particularly re. camera positioning; this is the focus of the next project. I'm pleased with the work you've done here - you've put a lot of effort in and have clearly made a lot of progress. Well done.