1. Make sure you explain in detail in your evaluation why you chose the studio/ distributor you did (this is mentioned in your research, but you should elaborate on it). 2. The opening pan is a little jerky 3. I think it should be "Lionsgate presents", if they are the distributor; check your research 4. As mentioned, I think you should use a sans-serif typeface 5. I think you should fade in at the start. 6. Make sure your title lengths are the same 7. Editing of LS of Kieran entering the bathroom is tight; not sure the credit is held quite long enough 8. I think you should play with the contrast/ grading; it looks a little too washed out 9. If you're going to use this track, I think you should try to match the edits to the silences 10. Some good framing (e.g. toothbrush shot) 11. Check the order of your credits (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opening_credits#Common_opening_credits_order). I think casting directors (and directors of photography) have additional credits, but I can't offhand remember what they are 12. The pan to the body at about 01:38 is quite clunky; might it be possible to cut to the body instead? 13. "Costume" should either be "Costumes" or "Costume design", I think 14. The "music" credit isn't held long enough; neither is the co-production credit 15. I think the shot of Kieran going through the clothes is held too long 16. The following shot (before the director credit) is a little short 17. I don't think you need the shot at 02:40. 18. As discussed in the lesson, you need credits to fill all your gaps, ending with the director credit 19. I don't think you need the shot at 03:22 or at 4.05/ 10. 20. I'm very much of the opinion that you should shoot a 30s dialogue scene to go after the director credit, which sells the character and situation
Overall, this is a very strong first edit and, as mentioned, is already mid level 3 - with some tweaking it will easily be L4.
1. Make sure you explain in detail in your evaluation why you chose the studio/ distributor you did (this is mentioned in your research, but you should elaborate on it).
ReplyDelete2. The opening pan is a little jerky
3. I think it should be "Lionsgate presents", if they are the distributor; check your research
4. As mentioned, I think you should use a sans-serif typeface
5. I think you should fade in at the start.
6. Make sure your title lengths are the same
7. Editing of LS of Kieran entering the bathroom is tight; not sure the credit is held quite long enough
8. I think you should play with the contrast/ grading; it looks a little too washed out
9. If you're going to use this track, I think you should try to match the edits to the silences
10. Some good framing (e.g. toothbrush shot)
11. Check the order of your credits (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opening_credits#Common_opening_credits_order). I think casting directors (and directors of photography) have additional credits, but I can't offhand remember what they are
12. The pan to the body at about 01:38 is quite clunky; might it be possible to cut to the body instead?
13. "Costume" should either be "Costumes" or "Costume design", I think
14. The "music" credit isn't held long enough; neither is the co-production credit
15. I think the shot of Kieran going through the clothes is held too long
16. The following shot (before the director credit) is a little short
17. I don't think you need the shot at 02:40.
18. As discussed in the lesson, you need credits to fill all your gaps, ending with the director credit
19. I don't think you need the shot at 03:22 or at 4.05/ 10.
20. I'm very much of the opinion that you should shoot a 30s dialogue scene to go after the director credit, which sells the character and situation
Overall, this is a very strong first edit and, as mentioned, is already mid level 3 - with some tweaking it will easily be L4.