Saturday, 22 November 2014

FIN!


Haematemesis from Elleah Stanton on Vimeo.

1 comment:

  1. 00:00 - when you do your final piece, I would suggest starting with

    an establishing shot
    00:02 - the audio on the soundtrack is a little gnarly - sounds

    slightly distorted.
    00:06 - your action match looks fine to me. You might want to think

    a little more about mise-en-scene, although the framing is fine in

    itself
    00:08 - watch out for audio glitches between shots; your audio drops

    out slightly between Sam entering and Josh standing up. You've

    broken (or at least bent) the 180 degree rule here - you would

    expect Josh to be looking to the right since Sam exits the previous

    shot from the left
    00:09 - slight continuity error in terms of Josh's positioning. It's

    unusual to cut between two similar shots (you've gone from,

    effectively, a mls to an ms - you would expect to go to a CU or a

    shot of the other character here. Again, check the audio - you need

    to cover these glitches using ambient sound
    00:11 - it's pleasing that you are using a range of shots. However,

    you generally wouldn't keep cutting to different shots of the same

    person in this way; you would expect to see, for example, a reaction

    shot of the person Josh is talking to
    00:12 - slight continuity error here in terms of the direction Josh

    is facing between shots and the movment
    00:15 - framing is slightly odd here, with Josh being slightly out

    of shot. Continuity error - Sam's arm is extended, then not, so the

    action match doesn't work
    00:22 - continuity error in terms of the way Josh is facing: he is

    looking at Sam in the previous shot, then looking at the chart in

    the next one with no obvious movement between the two
    00:29 - good use of close-up, although there is an action match

    continuity error (the pen has been removed from the chart in one

    shot but is then on "Algeria" in the next). The camera is a little

    wobbly here. You hold on this a little too lonh - could do with

    cutting back to Josh, possibly ELS of him and Sam?
    0:46 - consider mise-en-scene: why would this scene be taking place

    in a room full of music equipment?
    0:50 - slight continuity errror in terms of where Sam is positioned

    relative to Josh; considering the move Sam made, we would probably

    expect to see him walking into the shot. The framing is also a

    little odd when the camera pans; Sam is not quite in shot
    0:58 - there seems to be a slight continuity error in terms of the

    direction in which Sam is facing when you cut to the MS
    1:03 - an action mis-match with the paper; look at where it is in

    the previous shot to this one, where Sam whips it out of the folder
    a second time...
    01:07 - a minor point, but do make sure your props look realistic...
    01:08 - not keen on the zoom here; the focus goes a little out
    01:16 - a rather nasty glitch here where you cut between effectively

    the same shot; you need a cutaway to break these up, which would

    mask the issue
    01:21 - same comment as before regarding cutting between shots of

    the same character - this would work better with cutting between Sam

    and Josh
    01:43 - the sequence here works quite well, although Sam is angled

    slightly oddly; would expect him to be angled more towards the

    camera. Not convinced that the move here works - it looks a little

    intrusive. It does, however, allow you to demo a way of breaking the

    180 rule, which you should mention, and allows you to build up the

    tension a little
    02:02 - I rather like the crash zoom at the end

    Overall, as you can see, there are a lot of continuity issues. I

    would also ask you to consider mise-en-scene and audio. However,

    you've used a range of shots and there is some effective editing.

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